When I look at this picture, it brings a smile into my face, because I not only think I am beautiful, happy and stunning, but it also brings great and ever lasting memories I had, and no one, can take it away from me.
Many times, people who don’t know me, has asked my marital status and when I say I am divorced they usually say “I am so sorry to hear…”my response is to stay quiet, because I very much respect people’s opinion, but for the most part, their opinion is to think that divorce is a negative situation, which yes, it can be, many people go through “not so wanted happy times”, but I want to say that I had a very different experience.
I, personally, have a different opinion, as I have a perspective that if a “relationship”, either romantic, friendship or anything between is not working for one of them, it needs to be talked through, where both must to feel happy to be able to keep going with it or find a way which both will be ok with it. For my ex-husband and myself, divorce was the answer. Today, as we are friends, we can see that it has not only improved ourselves even further, but it has allowed us to support and love each other in a completely different and deeper level.
I disagree my marriage didn’t work. IT DID WORK! For all the lessons, great memories and times we shared together as a couple. I am extremely grateful to have learned from him in many amazing ways, not to mention the trivial things that every so often I report myself back to those times and I become even more grateful to have had him into my life. The fact the we are no longer together, doesn’t mean I think he is not a great guy or the marriage material, he so is, he is a gentleman and had always been there in many difficult and happy times.
I wouldn’t have become who I am today if he hasn’t been with me in this journey, my heart says that he has been one of my spiritual contracts. One more reason why it has worked…
I also have learned that love goes way beyond the physical aspect of “having” someone living with you “forever”. Give yourself to someone at any given moment, fully present (spiritual, emotional and physical), is one of the biggest love indications you can give someone, anything after is uncertain because we don’t know the day of tomorrow.
For me, tomorrow has come and here I am, being grateful for a time when the present was just a glimpse of my sense of being present…
That was me...over 13 years ago!!
For the last 12 days I have been in an intense body and mind cleanse. It’s amazing how much of an impact being aware of everything happening in your body and have all the basic 5 senses working up to the fullest, do to you as a human and spiritual being.
I haven’t eaten red meat (and everything in between, aka bacon, pork, deli meat…) for over 4 years now, I don’t miss it and I have no desire for it when someone eats it in front of me, but yesterday an interesting situation happened. As I passed by a fast food chain, I remember the times when I used to go there for “food” and I can remember some of the reasons why I did it…
I wasn’t committed to myself enough,
I didn’t love myself enough,
I didn’t respect myself enough,
And, I was also trying to mask my own feeling by eating…
so, I MADE POOR CHOICES!
The sad part about it is that for the most part we are not usually aware of it…
And, let me tell you… that went along with EVERYTHING in my life! Career, relationships, food, what I was watching, listening to, you name it! I literally let the “crap” come in, I had no boundaries whatsoever, I didn’t even know what that meant to be honest, I had no clue, I was just looking for acceptance, to be loved, to fit in. I was looking for happiness outside of myself, I was transferring the responsibility to others…
Until I started taking responsibilities for who I was and what I wanted to become I couldn’t move forward. From then to now, I am grateful as, to name some of the things I have accomplished,
I have become aware of,
Empowered to make smart and healthy choices,
I deeply love myself and have develop healthy boundaries,
I was able to kick the victim mode out and a LOT MORE!!!
Loving myself, become empowered and leaning Ayurveda not only gifted me the connection with within, but introduced me to one of the most AMAZING people in the planet: myself!!
How a lost over 50 pounds
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